Shaping Grief by Prachi Khandekar

SHAPING GRIEF
塑造悲傷

Things take time, and time takes things.
事物需要時間發生，時間也會帶走事物。

Our stories are forged by these opposing forces. Intimacy, wisdom, and excellence, all take time. But reminders of mortality loom over the strides we make. Bodies criss-cross, voices recount myths of passing into ether between blinks. We lug unease within, a tussle of grit and gratification at every turn. It is the tacit ritual of living.
我們的故事是由這些對立的力量塑造的。親密、智慧和卓越，都需要時間。但是，在我們取得的進展中，對死亡的提醒始終隱約可見。身體縱橫交錯，聲音講述著在眨眼之間進入蒼穹的神話。我們拉扯著內心深處的不安，每一個轉折處都充滿了勇氣和滿足感。這是了然於心的生活儀式。

I like to think of rituals as neat circles. Circumscribed hollows, cradles of certainty. Circles can cycle or circles can churn. Sleep slipknots two ends of a day, while washing up only begets more dirty dishes. Nature wraps us in seamless rituals of her own. A sun that arcs underground and over horizons. Rivulets that pool at our feet before puffing into clouds. Menstruation too is the circling wrist of time: blots of blood designed to stain us into being.
我喜歡把儀式想像成整齊的圓圈。被限制的空洞，確定性的開始。圓圈可以循環或攪動。睡覺是一天的開始和結束。洗碗只會帶來更多髒盤子。大自然將我們包裹在她自己的無縫儀式中。太陽在地下和地平線上形成弧線。小溪在我們腳下匯合，然後噴入雲中。月經也是時間的關節：點點血液將我們染色、成形。

Memories, on the other hand, are weak lines that fog at a distance. Echos of erosive winds. Of rock chiseled into grain. Of shores wiped clean. We must travel through lush forests of forgetting everyday.
另一方面，記憶在遠處薄弱而模糊。侵蝕風的迴聲。鑿成穀物的岩石。海岸被擦得乾乾淨淨。我們必須每天穿越茂密的遺忘森林。

In grief, we reach for memory lines and bend them into circles. Inventing rituals to circumvent forests and orbit erasure. We hold objects touched by loved ones to our chest, and inhale their lingering scent. Prolonging, encircling, wishing a vortex to the past.
在悲傷中，我們傾向記憶並將它彎曲成圓圈。發明儀式以迴避失去。我們將親人觸摸過的物品放在胸前，吸入他們揮之不去的氣味。延長，環繞，希望能有一個漩渦能帶我們回到過去。

Pain invades and we immediately look for a gash. There is no discernable rupture through which the physicality of a loved one could have escaped. Things move on in high definition, forcing us in an inward curl. We lie unblemished, yet wounded. Longing for a brush of their skin, the vigour in their eyes, or a tremble of laughter. We mourn in practiced gestures and silent eulogies. Tracing circles again and again.疼痛襲來，我們立即尋找傷口。沒有任何明顯的裂痕可以讓所愛之人的肉體逃脫出來。事物繼續清晰地發展，迫使我們向內捲曲。我們無瑕疵地躺著，卻受傷了。渴望他們的肌膚，他們眼中的活力，或顫抖的笑聲。我們以熟練的姿勢和無聲的悼詞哀悼。一次又一次地追踪勾勒出的圓圈。

Then comes another, quieter grief. The sting of forgetting, little by little, the subtleties we gathered in a bouquet after they left. Shades we had missed in their technicolor presence. We nurse this specter until it has a life of its own. It runs amok, delicate against the elements of time. So we lock, chain, and weigh it down with more sandbags of memory. Bits keep escaping nonetheless.

然後是另一種更安靜的悲傷。遺忘給予的刺痛，一點一點地，我們在他們離開後在花束中培養的細微情愫。我們錯過了他們曾經的彩色存在中的陰影。我們維護著這悲傷中生出的幽靈，直到它擁有自己的生命。它肆虐地奔跑，微妙地抗議時間的元素。所以我們用更多的記憶沙袋來鎖定、鎖鍊和權衡它。儘管如此，它的點點仍然在逃逸。

In time, the specter is no more and the circles get smaller and smaller. They close up into dots. Our rituals tighten into scattered points of a lasting presence. We live among a sprinkle that reminds us of them – heirlooms, trinkets, notes. Mute memorials.

隨著時間的流逝，幽靈不再存在，圓圈越來越小。它們閉合成點。我們的儀式收緊為持久存在的分散點。我們的生活裡仍舊充滿著讓我們想起他們的物件——傳家寶、小飾品、筆記。靜止的紀念。

Such objects have always intrigued me. They outscale their function and outpace lifetimes. They are bathed in ritual, but somehow remain casual. Parked on console tables, on shelves, in boxes. Charged with sentiment. Souvenirs of the senseless hand of the sublime.
這樣的物件總是讓我很感興趣。它們超出了它們本身的功能與使用壽命。他們沐浴在儀式中，但保持著一種隨意感。在桌子上，架子上，盒子裡。充滿著情感。絕妙的紀念品。

Nothing can replace a missed presence, but there are many phases of absence to shelter in. The ones we’ve lost move in the precise geometry of a world they cannot return to.
沒有什麼可以代替錯過的存在，但有許多階段的缺席可以在其中尋求庇護。我們失去的在他們無法返回的世界的精確幾何中移動。

Prachi Khandekar curates @theenigmaofobjects, an instagram exhibition that crowdsources stories about prized objects and their significance. Responses to her open call often come from grievers. She continues to reflect and explore the qualities of objects that transcend their utility.
巴基·坎德卡（Prachi Khandekar）策劃了《物件之謎@the.enigma.of.objects》。這是一個公開召集有關珍貴物件及其意義的故事的 Instagram 展覽。投稿的通常是因失去而悲痛的人。她持續反思和探索超越其效用的物品的特質。

Shaping Grief was inspired by the themes in the exhibition Not all cleaning is false by Alessandra Pozzuoli.